shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Let's get the cat blown out
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
