fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
