Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
