"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
