I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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