i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
