Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize