I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
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Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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