My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
