Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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