OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
