ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Randomize
