I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize