Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
