jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
