Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
