If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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