i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
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the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
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This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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