you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
