why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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