No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
