u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Your penis caused this!
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
