ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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