You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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