Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
