that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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