just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
