I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
