Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
