I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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