Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
