He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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