New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
