I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
