i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
