I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Randomize
