i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
