not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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