i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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