just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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