The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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