oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
