put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
