the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
did i walk over a car last night?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
