i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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