if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
