I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
