He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
