just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
