The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She even gives head with a lisp.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
