Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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