so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
