We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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