I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
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the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
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I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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