i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
