I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You were trust falling into bushes
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
