If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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