he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
