Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
