I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
