hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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