do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
