New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
