So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
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