I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
well you can't waste a boner
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize