I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
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