The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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