I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
