she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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